How to Thrive and Be Intentional During Uncertainty – Boundaries, Self-Care, and the Sweet Spot with The EnerChi Architect
A 4-part blog series by Rebecca Thomas
As entrepreneurs we face our own set of challenges. That’s part of what we sign up for when we step out on our own. Now that we’re facing a pandemic, it’s easy to spiral even further into overwhelm, frustration, and isolation that are already commonplace for us. What can we do to shift out of these behaviors; not only right now, but FOR GOOD?
Who can relate to these things – burnout, isolation, overwhelm? I know I can. A year ago I quit my former work-from-home, salary position in email marketing to open my own Life Coaching practice. Have I experienced all of the things mentioned above? Absolutely. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I live a life full of purpose, sharing my gifts with others, to help them find the peace, purpose, and passion that so many of us yearn for. And I dare say those very things are what drive us as entrepreneurs.
But I don’t think ANY of us saw a pandemic in our futures; circumstances that would close so many businesses and opportunities down, while setting an unsustainable pace for others are our current reality. And with that comes a whole new dynamic for our unique set of problems. Let’s take a few minutes to talk about something that MANY of us are struggling with: boundaries.
Boundaries, Self-Care, and the Sweet Spot
If there’s one thing that I can give credit to for making peaceful transitions from employed to entrepreneur, from normal to living through a pandemic, from having my own space and time to sharing everything with everyone in my home, 24-7, it’s boundaries. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, irritated, and exhausted, you’re missing the Sweet Spot, Sister. That space where you end and something (or someone) else begins. It’s the difference between motion and action, between showing up in big ways or just checking off the boxes, between retaining your own identity and losing it to everyone’s expectation of who you are. And it’s no wonder.
Through so much of our lives we’re bombarded (especially Women) with messages and experiences that place an expectation on us instead of emphasizing the gift of choice. No wonder we get lost in the things and feelings others think we should do. No wonder we fall out of touch with what’s important to us and what drives us. No wonder when we’ve been practicing the emotions and actions that others place on us, we lose connection with ourselves, our self-trust, our intuition, and no longer have access to our own inner compass.
So how do we incorporate better boundaries, and make sure that we’re taking care of ourselves right now? It’s probably going to look different than it normally would. And that’s okay, because LIFE looks different right now. The best way to start finding your boundaries, incorporating more self-care, and finding the harmony in current everyday life is to build your awareness. Try journaling at the end of the day, or first thing in the morning. Pick a time where you can be with yourself, minus the distractions and responsibilities. Recall things that happened the previous day and pay attention to how they made you feel, whether it’s a good feeling or a negative one. The things that make us feel good; those are what we can build more of in our routines. Give yourself an “Atta girl” for those situations. Be proud of yourself for them. Celebrate them. Remember them.
The things that felt negative (that can be anger, hurt, fear, shame, frustration, etc.), get curious about why and what you can do differently. Were you right in feeling that way? Did you over-react? Did something continue that should have been stopped? Were you reacting because you need something? Was miscommunication at fault (either side)? Is everyone simply shouldering too much responsibility and getting triggered? Don’t beat yourself up for these experiences. Get curious about why they’re happening, about why everyone is feeling the way they did, what’s contributing, and make different choices. And make sure to incorporate a ton of grace.
This may be one of the craziest times we ever experience. That doesn’t mean we have to hop on the crazy train and send our sanity or our personal needs down the line. If something feels off, trust and honor it. Trying to force ourselves to act or feel a certain way during one of the most uncertain times we’ll ever live through is not only unrealistic, it’s unsustainable. Feel your feelings. Move through your emotions. And honor your boundaries. Your future (and present) self will thank you for it. You’re amazing. Don’t forget that.